Hello and welcome to our Meet the Team series, in which we aim to give you deeper insight into the minds and personalities of those who make up this eclectic, close-knit group. We are developers, marketers, and technical support engineers, and at work we craft everything from Microsoft reporting APIs to mobile email applications. And outside of work? Let’s just say racing against the machine during hackathons, building architecturally sound beer towers during retros, and paddling down the Charles during the warmer months are simply the beginning.
Meet Kate, SoftArtisans’ technical support guru by day, poetry slam artisan by night.
1. What do you do?
Technical support and web app consulting. I fix things. Then I make other things. This requires learning a lot of new technologies constantly. If you name a technology, I can tell you what mistakes I’ve made with it!
2. What are you listening to right now?
“Commando” by the Ramones. Over and over again. Because it’s so awesome.
3. If you could build any app, what would it be and why?
I’ve been working on this stupid thing off and on. It generates random free-form poetry and (almost, the algorithm is still a little off) sonnets. It uses a custom CFG that I’ll never be satisfied with. I’m a performance poet in my spare time and it’s super fun to pull out my phone and tell the audience I’m quite literally writing the poem at that moment. When it works.
4. When you were 5 what did you want to be and why?
A ninja that tamed lions. True story. I was going to learn ninja skills, get some lions together, and be a superhero. I don’t think I need to explain why.
5. If you were a beer what would you be and why?
Dog Fish Head Raisin D’Etre. Partially because I love it, but also because I too, am packed with raisin-y flavor.
6. What is your favorite tech blog and why?
TechDirt. I know I’m supposed to say SlashDot or pick some local hero’s blog, but TechDirt has a lot of the same stuff from legal perspective. That stuff is fascinating. They’re all “Habeus Corpus” and I’m all like… “Yeah!” Plus it’s useful to know about how our internet is being regulated and how technology is being used for and against us.
7. Fill in the blank. Contrary to popular belief I ________.
Am regarded in certain circles as the inventor of Calvinism Ball. You make up the rules as you go along, but it doesn’t matter because ultimately everything is subject to the will of a higher power.
8. Describe your perfect Saturday afternoon in 10 words or less.
Wake late. Climb rocks. Paint and wine with friends.
9. When did you last laugh?
I’m constantly laughing at how funny I think I am. Here’s my favorite joke (that I did not come up with):
Q: What’s the difference between a monkey…?
A: Nothing.
10. Describe your personal style in one word.
Frumpy.
11. What is your worst nightmare?
Just the same one where I’m falling down a hill and then I have to fight Luke Wilson.
12. If you were a superhero, what would be your superhero name/power?
I guess I would be a ninja who could control lions…
13. What 3 things would you bring to a deserted island?
Helicopter. Helicopter fuel (ample amounts). Helicopter piloting instructor. I’m a pretty aggressive pragmatist.
14. Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Dianne Keaton. Bonus: it would be a mockumentary.
15. What is the last thing you bought?
Quite literally? That would be food. The last thing I bought that’s worth mentioning is a tiny little USB robot that I can control from my phone. I had to birthday shop for a two year old… and it’s really difficult to leave a toy store without a toy for myself.
16. What are your biggest pet peeves?
Open cabinets, because how lazy do you have to be to not close a cabinet? Cigarette butts in regular everyday dishes. Don’t do that to people’s dishes. Seriously. It’s gross and rude. If we ever become friends and you are invited to my apartment and you smoke a cigarette, I will make note that you did not ash in my dishes. I will positively reinforce that behavior with baked goods.
17. Name something that makes you smile.
My ferret named Too Many Dinosaurs. He’s a little baller.
18. If you could teach a college course what would it be?
Weird sentence structure – 101. I’m a huge proponent of the use of run-on, fragmented (in case you weren’t paying attention) and otherwise grammatically incorrect sentences for art and emphasis. The funny thing is that most people who make consistent use of these techniques are technical writers. They need to supply information in a very specific way and grammar is second to that.
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